


Feel Again

by zetomin



Category: VICTON (Band)
Genre: Angst but also fluff, Kinda College AU?, M/M, Summer Vacation, dont worry, soccer player seungwoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 17:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11513733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zetomin/pseuds/zetomin
Summary: Really, Seungsik isn't looking forward to watching over his injured neighbor Seungwoo all summer at all, but the twinkle in his eyes when they're together convinces him that maybe it'll be alright.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> honestly I haven't written anything in a while so I'm sorry if I'm lacking. I'm really excited to write this and be posting it and I hope to finish it over the course of this summer.

Seungsik had concluded that this summer needed to include some soul searching before it even started. 

The current summer, roughly beginning about now, would be his first as an (almost) college student and he’d achieved none of his goals he set at the beginning of the school year. He didn’t have any real plans of leaving this dumb and dreary town, nor gotten a super-hot girlfriend, or suddenly developed a hobby that would change his life yet. Only now was he starting to accept that none of that would have any real chance of happening without him actually leaving his bedroom. Before getting out of bed to go downstairs and make his little brother make him food he decided that nothing would come to him without hard work. He ignored the little voice in his head that told him “you say that every summer” as he closed his bedroom door behind him.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs it wasn’t an unusual sight to see his little brother lazily splayed across the sofa, his shirt riding up his chest as he watched some overdramatic drama on the TV. 

“Hey Bin, what’s-” Seungsik began as he plopped himself next to his brother on the sofa, a sly smile on his face, but was cut off before he finished.

Subin turned around and shot him a noxious glare that was almost too funny to not laugh at. “Listen, if you think I’m making you breakfast you’re wrong. I won’t be your slave like last summer. I’m a changed person.” He proclaimed, grabbing the fabric of his shirt on his chest.

Seungsik scoffed because if Subin thought that becoming a junior in high school made him a “changed person”, for sure he would have an existential crisis when he graduated. “Whatever you say buddy,” Seungsik reached out and put his hand on Subin’s arm. “make sure you don’t make the scrambled eggs too wet. It feels like I’m eating cooked baby bird when you do that.” He teased before getting up to head towards the bathroom to wash up, his large basketball shorts sagging, barely held up by his waist.

They both knew Subin would cook regardless of his differences of opinion. 

“Mom is next door by the way, I think Mrs. Han’s son is back home for some reason.” Subin raised his voice loud enough for Seungsik to hear as he got up in defeat, per usual.

“What, soccer didn’t work out for the towns star?” He yelled back, the sarcasm clear in is voice. Subin walked to the bathroom so he didn’t have to yell. “Don’t you think it’s weird though? He hasn’t even bothered to visit for like, two years?” Subin paused as if he were really bothered. “and now he’s suddenly coming back? I feel bad for Mrs. and Mr. Han. That must totally suck for them.” 

“I guess.” Was all Seungsik said before stuffing his toothbrush in his mouth, Subin leaving to make scrambled eggs and toast.

At around noon their mom walked through the front door, slipping her shoes off before the door was even open. 

“Hey boys, sorry I was out all morning, I was next door.” She continued while subconsciously tidying up all the shoes by the front door as she put down her own. “Her son is visiting from college.” 

“Why only after two years is he finally visiting?” Seungsik asked in a snippy tone as he sat eating toast and scrambled eggs on the coffee table, ironically joining Subin as he watched his show even though he called it dumb less than an hour ago. His mom shot him an exhausted, “that’s enough” look and walked over to sit on a chair, letting out an exaggerated sigh as her body fell.

“He’s injured so she needs a lot of help. A torn muscle in his leg I think. Something like that.” 

“Mom, I know we’ve been neighbors for like, ever, but you don’t have time to help Mrs. Han. You have work yourself.” Seungsik genuinely worried for his mom from all the work she does to support them. Their dad was never a big part of their life so their mom worked almost all the time trying to get money for things child support didn’t cover. Seungsik had no words for how much he appreciated his mother, but there was a silent understanding between them explaining how he felt.

His mom looked at him as if he were dumb. “Of course, I know that. I never said I offered my help to her.” Seungsik let out a sigh of relief even though in the back of his head he was extremely confused because his mother just wasn’t that type of person. “Good. Don’t overwork yourself, they’ll manage fine.”

She didn’t even open her eyes to look at her son. “You are.” 

Seungsik almost choked on his orange juice. “Pardon?” He inquired between coughs.

Ms. Kang opened her eyes to continue. “I know you heard me fine. I already organized everything with his mother, don’t let her down, Sik. She works too, you know. It’s hard to maintain a house in this neighborhood, everyone here works more than they should.” Of course, Seungsik knew this was all a guilt trip and that she knew he would give in eventually because that was just the type of person he was, as much as he hated it. He endlessly cursed his mother throughout the span of his life for inheriting her good conscious. 

Before he could reply, she started up again. “Thanks honey, I knew I could always count on you. It’s not like you had plans this summer anyways.” She smiled at him as she lifted herself from the wicker chair and headed to the kitchen. “At least this summer you won’t have to diet during the school year from sitting around doing nothing during the summer.” She winked followed by a laugh and left the room.

“Wow, well that sucks dude,” Subin almost sounded apologetic before he doubled over in laughter “for you.”

“I’m seriously going to beat you up.” Seungsik sneered at him, but Subin was already going upstairs, still amused by the unfortunate situation. “I don’t think either of us have ever had a proper conversation with that guy after all these years. Good luck man.”

“Don’t be surprised if you wake up with one eyebrow gone.” Seungsik yelled after him, knowing Subin ran up the last few steps a little quicker than the others without even looking made a small smile crack on his face.

It slowly faded to a frown again as he sat back and stared up at the slightly off-white ceiling. 

Well, now his plans of so-called “soul searching” this summer were definitely ruined and thrown into the trash. Instead of following his (basically impossible and out of character) plans of supposedly going out looking for life inspiration or somehow finding an amazing girlfriend within a span of two and a half months, he would have to babysit his neighbors annoying prick of a son. 

That night at dinner, Seungsik’s mom explained that Mrs. Han left for work at 7 a.m., but that Seungwoo woke up early every morning out of habit (something about being a dedicated soccer player) so he should try and get there as early as he can every morning. Seungsik pouted, insisting that he always wakes up too late and wouldn’t be able to function properly. His mom combated her son with a “tough shit” and a “well you should consider going to bed earlier”. This was just peachy. All Seungsik’s plans this summer were getting ruined one by one due to his annoying neighbor. At this point, Seungsik decided he would never like, nor put any effort into liking Seungwoo.

It’s not like Seungwoo and Seungsik loathed each other, if anything they had no opinion of each other. They never really conversed or had any contact. Sure, they had been neighbors for almost forever and went to the same middle school and high school yet they barely even exchanged hello’s. It always appeared that Seungwoo liked to keep to himself so Seungsik respected that despite the teeny tiny desire to be friends buried deep inside of him. 

Seungsik wouldn’t go as far to say he admired Seungwoo, but he would admit that Seungwoo was extremely dedicated and worked hard for what he wanted. It’s almost as if he’d been born to play soccer, born knowing what he wanted to spend his life doing. Something that Seungsik, at the age of 18, still didn’t known and for that, he envied Han Seungwoo. 

That night, Seungsik stayed up until some early hour of the morning until his eyes couldn’t stay open anymore. He knew that if he went to bed at a normal hour, nerves would set in and he would overthink causing him to stay awake all night, tossing and turning in bed. He wasn’t sure why basically babysitting his neighbor’s son made him nervous, but for unseen reasons, it did.


	2. Chapter 2

When Seungsik opened his eyes the next morning it was 6:37 a.m. and he truly didn’t want to remove his body from the warm covers into his comfortable, but colder than under his blankets, room. Or actually, maybe it was just because he didn’t want to get dressed and go next door to see his neighbor’s son. For now, he would just continue his morning believe the first one. 

His mom scolded him for not setting up an alarm but he trusted that he would wake up anyways subconsciously from nerves. Confidentially in his mind he secretly wished he could’ve overslept, but he regretted even thinking it because he really couldn’t let down his mom. He was doing this for her, not Seungwoo or even for Mrs. Han. Seungsik always did the most to help his mother out when he could as a hushed thank you for all the hard work she did as a single parent. 

With an exhausted groan, Seungsik raised himself from his slightly worn and dense mattress to start the day. The birds were chirping and the sun was out yet Seungsik felt like slamming the windows closed and lowering the blinds. 

Seungwoo was only really his next-door neighbor so Seungsik managed to convince himself that he really didn’t care what he thought. With that in mind, he threw on a pair of sweatpants that felt a bit too small (they were most likely Subin’s and his mom put them in his drawer while doing laundry by accident) and an oversized t-shirt that had an old oil stain Seungsik didn’t even bother to notice. Out of all things he would have to do for Seungwoo he wouldn’t dress nice just to nurse him all day. He walked out of his room without even taking a second looking in the mirror, not really giving a thought about the strands of hair sticking up on the back of his head.

Subin pretended not to notice Seungsik walking down the stairs as he watched his morning drama. “You’re lucky you’re young, you little shit. I’m suffering because of you.” Seungsik exaggerated as he slipped on a pair of slides on his feet even though he had socks on. Seungsik was a normal fashion terrorist as they called it. 

Despite his complaints, Seungsik knew his mother asked him to watch over Seungwoo and not Subin because of his personality. Seungsik was usually naturally caring and kind, but for some reason he couldn’t find the desire to tend to Seungwoo all summer. He wondered if this was some kind of punishment from any higher being, if any even existed, for lazing around the past 18 years and never accomplishing any of his goals. Last night before falling asleep he silently promised to be a better and more hardworking person if it would get him out of this predicament. When he woke up and nothing had changed he decided maybe he really didn’t believe in God. 

“Have fun, hyung.” Subin yawned as Seungsik opened the front door. 

“Yeah, right. See you later.” And with that he stepped outside and closed the door, locking it behind him. Seungsik had never taken so long to walk from his front door to his neighbors, taking small strides across his front yard to the next. When he finally reached there he (very) reluctantly knocked on the hard wood door and waited for someone to answer. Checking his phone, it read 7:12 and he let out a sigh of relief. He was on time more or less. Nothing to worry about.

Seungsik was startled by the door suddenly opening, the several wicked windchimes dangling down causing an unpleasant ringing in his ears. He winced at the same sound that have terrorized his life and woken him up countless times for thirteen years. 

He was greeted by a dressed-up Mrs. Han pulling the backs of her high heels to get them on her feet, most likely about to leave. “Hi Seungsik, nice to see you again.” She smiled even though she was concentrating more on getting her shoes on than looking at Seungsik’s face. He didn’t mind though. He knew how hard and time constrained work was for his mother so he can recognize how Mrs. Han must have felt. 

He laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and straightening his hair, being overly formal and fake for no good reason. “Hey, good morning Miss. It’s been a while.”

She finally got her black heels on and was grabbing her keys and purse. Straightening her skirt, she eventually looked up to Seungsik’s eyes. “Yes, okay so Seungwoo is in the guest room, second door on the right in the hallway. He can’t really get upstairs to his room so he’s staying there for the time being.” Seungsik nodded in understanding. “He takes his medicine at 11 before lunch and then again at 6 before dinner. I get out of work at 7 and my husband even later, so you can leave when I get home.”

Seungsik tried his best not to sigh in discontent. He feared that he’d have to stay there for a long period of time, but tried to convince himself it would only be a few hours even though he clearly knew that Mrs. and Mr. Han worked until night. 

She must have noticed his dreadful expression because right after saying that she put her hand on Seungsik’s upper arm. “Thank you for doing this for me and my husband. We have no one else for Seungwoo.” She looked as if she was about to burst into tears so Seungsik forced a smile. 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” He politely reassured her even though it was, in truth, a straight up lie. He couldn’t help but feel bad for the lady. Not being able to be there for her son when he was injured in bed must feel terrible.

With another “thank you” and a quick “goodbye”, she left the house and hurried to her car. Out of habit, Seungsik stood and watched her from the door until her car pulled out the driveway and disappeared down the street.

Even after his neighbor’s departure, Seungsik just stood in the entrance dumbly for a few more minutes “mentally preparing” himself. This was totally twenty times more awkward and terrible then he originally thought, which says a lot because he already thought this was a pretty horrendous way to spend his summer vacation. He was about to stand there making up his mind what to do for a few more minutes until he heard a muffled thump down the hall. Even though he told himself he hardly cared about Seungwoo nor his life and convinced himself this was for his mother, he nervously ran down the hall to the second door on the right.

When Seungsik barged into the room basically out of breath (which was not normal. He made a mental note to work out more), he was greeted by a relaxed Seungwoo laying back in bed with his eyes closed and his hands on top of each other resting above his stomach and a black iPhone on the hardwood flooring. Seungsik scowled that he ran there for this. He bent down and picked up the phone and placed it onto the wooden nightstand. 

“Um, hi.” Seungsik paused awkwardly as he internally cringed at himself, his nose crinkling as he winced. “I’m Seungsik.” Subconsciously he reached out his hand for a handshake even though Seungwoo’s eyes were closed and didn’t look like they were going to open anytime soon. He retracted his hand quickly, glad that Seungwoo didn’t see.

It’s too late to take back the words after they’ve come out of his mouth and boy, does he wish he could. Of course Seungwoo knows he’s Seungsik because they’ve freakin’ lived next to each other for like, thirteen years. “I know.” is all the older boy replies. 

After an awkward minute of tense silence, or perhaps it was only tense to Seungsik, he raised his voice again. “I put your phone on the nightstand.” 

“Thanks. I know.” Seungwoo replied again like an automatic machine. His nonchalant attitude was really pissing off Seungsik even though it shouldn’t. His pride was telling him that Seungwoo has always and always will be an asshole, but his conscious, in the back of his head, is saying that he should cut the guy some slack.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. “I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.” 

Seungwoo hummed in response and Seungsik walked out, leaving the door open just in case something happened. It wasn’t like he cared though, he just felt responsible for anything that were to happen under his watch. At least, that’s what he told himself.

Walking into the Han’s living room he was greeted by a modern and clean display. It was, not surprisingly, very neat and with the only almost cluttered area of the room was atop the grey bricked fireplace where picture frames littered the shelf.

Seungsik examined the worn photographs of Seungwoo on a boat with Mr. Han, smiling as bright as the sun as he proudly held up a small fish about the size of a fist. The next picture was a family portrait of Mr. and Mrs. Han with Seungwoo, who was probably in middle school at the time and his sister who was in high school. Seungwoo had the ugliest haircut Seungsik had ever seen yet he was still smiling, but it was noticeably different than from the last photo. He looked more tired and strained. The third frame displayed Seungwoo holding up a large trophy surrounded by his high school soccer team, everyone had dirt on their green and white uniforms and their hair was sticking to their foreheads yet they all looked so happy, that was, except for Seungwoo. His smile was big and wide, yet his eyes were distant and glazed. Seungsik almost couldn’t recognize the person with the crooked sunhat with golden skin in the first picture anymore, but he just brushed it off as a tired expression.

The very last picture frame had two extensions, one housing Seungwoo’s and one his sister’s high school graduation photo. In this picture, Seungwoo’s smile had faded almost completely and was replaced by a bored and tired look towards the camera. Seungsik felt like he was laying eyes on something, invading on something, that he shouldn’t be and immediately felt like these pictures told him more about Seungwoo than being neighbors with him for thirteen years ever did. 

The, dare he say, disgusting sound of wind chimes in an unusually strong gust of wind shook Seungsik out his thoughts and he winced at the terrible sound. He hoped the Han’s house had a similar layout to his as he walked to, what he hoped was, the kitchen. When he entered, Seungsik surprised to have found Seungwoo bent over the island counter, a crutch laying on the floor next to him. 

“You should’ve called me over if you wanted to get up.” Seungsik exclaimed as he rushed over even though he knows he really wouldn’t want to have been called for. 

“I don’t need your help. I’m not five, I don’t need a babysitter.” Seungwoo twisted his head to the side to glare at Seungsik, but his eyes were bloodshot and swollen so he appeared more exhausted than mad.

Now Seungsik had really planned on being unfriendly towards the other, but Seungwoo really was terribly injured and sick and the voice telling him to be nice just wouldn’t shut up. His pride and conscious came out in a combined manner. “Listen, I don’t want to do this as much as you don’t want me here.” Seungsik rolled his eyes and picked up Seungwoo’s fallen crutch. “Just let me help you, it will be easier.”

Seungwoo only ran a hand through his messy, unwashed hair and allowed Seungsik to escort him back to bed.

The rest of the day passed as slowly as humanly possible, mostly due to the strong tension between the two boys. Seungsik made sure Seungwoo had his medicine at 11 and then again at 6 p.m. before dinner that Mrs. Han left that he was required to microwave. It took him a good 10 minutes to figure the damn machine out since his mother believed that microwaves were “unnatural and caused cancer” so they never owned one. 

The two only spoke as much as necessary and nothing more. He left when Mrs. Han arrived home from work and quickly said his goodbyes before running back to his house. 

Seungsik ignored Subin’s teasing as he ran upstairs to his room, exhausted. Who knew nursing an annoying soccer player could be so strenuous and demanding. He didn’t even bother opening his light before ripping his shirt off and collapsing into bed, falling asleep almost as soon as his eyes closed. 

That was the first time Seungsik skipped dinner since freshman year. Subin and his mom laugh about it over lasagna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, this is a double update because chapter 1 is pretty boring without chapter 2


End file.
